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now_ish I bleed when you're away.. - Just when I thought I reached the bottom..
.. I'm dying again.
now_ish I bleed when you're away..

Standing veiled by a curtain of lace I stood and watched patiently through the window, blanketed by the delicate caress of orange and gold as the last ray of sunlight bled through and disappeared from the fire colored sky. It was my curtain call. After demanding meals from the lackeys we'd temporarily obtained and, gaining a good amounts of rest here and there, I could feel my wounds becoming nothing but a mere annoyance. Kyle, however, refused to move an inch this entire time. It seemed to me he was preparing his strength for the fun we were about to experience on this rather divine night. The view he promised me was truly.. fascinating. It was so new being away from the city. You could almost lose yourself in the difference between the two worlds; that of nature and that of man. I have to admit that I stood a bit jealous of nature. It was the only force on the planet that had the power to make utter chaos look so.. beautiful.

"Did you bring it?" I asked without even a blink, my voice breaking through the deafening silence of the room once Rhanal, as he so happily dubbed himself, entered the room. Leile, who somehow felt she needed to supervise, arrived also. It's too bad Rhanal wasn't going to follow us all the way through when we went back to the city. He proved far more handy than just a guarding muscle. It would've been nice to keep him around. He understood his place and knew his superiors.. unlike some people I've came to know these passing days.


In response he lowered his head to me and nodded. "Of course," he murmured, handing me a small plastic bag when I turned around to face him fully. I smiled in satisfaction. It would be so easy to just leave the city of my damnation in my stead and enjoy pleasantries such as this. This is what I deserved. But no, I have something that my humanity decided to leave behind with me -- pride. I've always held onto my reasons for being the proud creature that I am. You show one moment of weakness and what happens? Everything you work for is overthrown. I'm living.. or, well, unliving proof. Faith and Angelus took one look at me at my most vulnerable and then had the audacity to try and exploit it? Treat me like a little girl that needs to be punished? Well, I'm not Drusilla. I don't stand for that. I don't need 'Daddy'. Soon.. soon they will again realize it.

"Get the car ready," I ordered absently to Rhanal through the flaming blaze of thoughts. Thoughts about them -- the trecherous, treasonous mishaps known as Angelus and Faith. Simply the image burned into my mind of the pair of them lit a vengeful fuse in me that I'd not felt in a long time. I liked it, yet I couldn't understand the tight feeling that bore into my chest every time a picture of them would pace inside my head. How they made me feel weak and unworthy of them. It fustrated me even more that I was allowing them get to me like this. ".. we'll be leaving soon."

He nodded in silence and left. My eyes peered down into my newly accquired item, feeling every single sour emotion leave me with nothing but the confidence in my plan. Confidence that managed to tweak a little grin in the corners of my lips. Fabulous. I pulled out the clear plastic pouch that rest within and eyed the red cross on the front before giving it a gentle squeeze. The dark crimson drink in which was contained was just the match I needed to set off the dynamite. My eyes captured those of the wolf that was staring up at me. I paused, faceless.

"... what? Are you hungry? Does it look like I have food? I don't read animal. Go find Kyle." I waved my hand dismissively at the little beast who decided to just.. stand there. Already this dog was pinching on my last nerve. If it wasn't for her connection with Kyle I would've thrown and locked her up in the zoo. "Go.. do something useful."

Current Mood: thoughtful thoughtful